Navigating hospital policies during birth can feel overwhelming, but it doesn’t have to be. In this episode of The Mindful Womb Podcast, I sit down with Colette Wagholikar (she/her)—a labor and delivery nurse turned childbirth educator and founder of My Friend’s A Nurse. Colette brings her unique insider knowledge to demystify hospital policies, empowering you to navigate them with confidence and clarity.
We cover:
Why many hospital policies prioritize efficiency over patient-centered care
The surprising variation in hospital rules (even within the same city!)
How to step into your role as the leader of your birth team
Practical strategies to navigate hospital policies and advocate for your preferences without creating conflict
Listen to the episode now:
Giving birth is one of the most transformative experiences in life, but navigating the hospital system can feel like stepping into the unknown. In this episode of The Mindful Room Podcast, I sit down with Colette Wagholikar (she/her), a labor and delivery nurse turned childbirth educator and founder of My Friend’s A Nurse, to shine a light on hospital policies—those rules that often seem set in stone but may not be as rigid as they appear.
Colette shares her deep insights into how hospital policies are formed, how they can impact your birth experience, and, most importantly, how you can advocate for yourself to ensure your voice is heard. If you’ve ever felt like policies were more about restriction than support, this episode will empower you to take charge.
Here are three educational takeaways from our conversation that could change how you prepare for birth:
1. Not All Policies Are About Your Safety—Many Are About Efficiency
It’s easy to assume hospital policies are designed solely with your health and safety in mind. But Colette reveals a surprising truth: many hospital rules are focused on creating efficiency or consistency for staff.
For example, the common practice of requiring every laboring parent to have an IV (or a Hep lock) is often framed as “hospital policy.” But Colette explains that in most cases, an IV isn’t medically necessary unless a specific intervention is anticipated. So why the rule? It ensures nurses can act quickly in an emergency—but that doesn’t mean it’s required for everyone.
The key takeaway? You can ask questions and decline interventions that don’t feel right for you. Colette reminds us, “There’s no policy in the world that should override your bodily autonomy.”
2. Hospital Policies Vary—Even in the Same City
Did you know that the “rules” of one hospital may differ completely from those of another? Colette’s years of experience working in hospitals across the West Coast taught her that policies are shaped not just by safety protocols but also by hospital culture, staff preferences, and even resources.
For example, some hospitals may limit the number of visitors allowed in the delivery room to two, while others may allow more. Knowing these policies ahead of time can save you from surprises and last-minute stress. Imagine expecting your extended family to be present, only to learn on the day of delivery that you can only have two people with you. Colette recommends asking for clear information about your hospital’s policies early in your pregnancy so you can plan accordingly.
3. You Are the Leader of Your Birth Team
One of Colette’s most empowering lessons is about mindset: you are not a passive participant in your birth. You are the leader of your birth team, and the medical professionals, doulas, and support people around you are there to advise and assist. This means you have the right to ask questions, voice concerns, and make decisions about your care.
Colette suggests thinking of your providers as expert advisors, but remembering that you are the ultimate decision-maker. For example, if you’re told something is “policy,” Colette encourages you to dig deeper: “Ask to see the policy. Ask why they’re recommending it and what the alternatives are.” This simple approach can transform your interactions with staff from feeling powerless to feeling in control.
She also emphasizes the importance of clear and empathetic communication. While it’s tempting to push back when you feel your preferences are being ignored, approaching conversations with curiosity and respect can foster collaboration and reduce tension. Statements like, “I hear you, and I appreciate your perspective, but I’d like to explore another option,” can open the door to finding solutions that work for both you and your care team.
Preparation Is Key: How to Navigate Policies with Confidence
To truly advocate for yourself, preparation is essential. Colette shared several strategies to help you walk into the hospital confident and informed:
Start Conversations Early: Don’t wait until labor to discuss your preferences. Bring your birth plan to prenatal visits and discuss it with your provider to identify any potential areas of disagreement or compromise.
Learn the Rules: Research your hospital’s policies on key issues like eating during labor, IVs, and visitor restrictions. Ask for clarification so you know what to expect.
Practice Leadership Skills: Build your confidence by practicing respectful but firm communication. Role-play scenarios with your birth partner or doula to refine how you’ll approach tough conversations.
Involve Your Birth Team: Share your birth preferences with everyone involved in your care, from your partner to your doula to your nurse. The more aligned your team is, the smoother your experience will be.
Set the Tone: Small details, like bringing your own gown, dimming the lights, and playing calming music, can create an environment where you feel in control and respected.
Why This Matters
One of the most significant themes Colette highlights is that traumatic birth experiences are often less about outcomes (e.g., needing a cesarean instead of a vaginal birth) and more about how those outcomes are reached. When parents feel they’ve lost autonomy or weren’t consulted in decisions, it can lead to lasting feelings of trauma and disappointment. On the flip side, even if things don’t go as planned, feeling informed and respected can turn a challenging birth into an empowering one.
“Healthy mom, healthy baby” shouldn’t be the only goal of your birth experience. Feeling seen, heard, and in control matters just as much.
Take the Next Step
Feeling ready to embrace your role as the leader of your birth team? Tune in to the full episode to hear more of Colette’s wisdom, including practical tips and real-life stories from her time as a nurse.
For even more guidance, follow Colette on Instagram at @MyFriendsANurse, or explore her courses and coaching services, where she teaches parents how to advocate for themselves and navigate the hospital system with confidence. Whether it’s one-on-one coaching or a group course, Colette’s support can help you create a birth experience that feels truly yours.
Let’s keep the conversation going: What’s one hospital policy you’d like to know more about? Share your thoughts and questions in the comments below!
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